Friday, August 22, 2008

Indestructible Backboard Installed at Field House - "God Himself couldn't break this backboard," says Bozik

This article originally appeared in the January 24, 1988 edition of "Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!!" - 

Athletic Director Edward E. Bozik is proud to announce that the university has purchased a new state-of-the-art backboard to install at Fitzgerald Field House. The backboard was fabricated by PPG Industries whose mission was to create a backboard “so strong and durable that none of the fashionably-tight shorts wearing super-hoopsters of this modern era would be able to break it.” The backboard was installed with a new, highly-resistant, super-durable, heavy duty, plexi-glass known by its industry name Herculite® Tempered Plexi-glass.

“Why, this new Herculite material is so strong that God himself couldn’t break this backboard if he was on a fast break that culminated with a tomahawk dunk,” boasted CEO Vincent A. Sarni from PPG’s new crenelated Downtown skyscraper. “As a company, we’re excited and think this material will be the next big thing in material science. We’re confident that once the general public sees how well the substance holds up against the wear and tear of a basketball game, then the future possibilities will be limitless. Steam ships, space shuttles, tanks, bridges, rail roads, why you name it, and in ten years time it’s likely to be made out of Herculite. And, of course, with all the recently displaced blue collar workers from the closing of area steel mills, we’ll have a manufacturing job in this region for every man, woman, and child this side of the Youghiogheny.

Bozik plans to have the backboard installed in time for tomorrow's game against Providence.

Tipoff for the game is scheduled for 7:00 PM. Tickets to the game are still available for purchase via cash, check, or Diners Club card at the ticket window or by calling 412-648-P-I-T-T.

TV: The game will be featured on ESPN’s primetime. A television blackout is scheduled for the area.
Radio: WPTS 92.1 FM broadcast with Bill Hillgrove.

1 comment:

Ken said...

What a great idea!

I'd like to purchase one of these. "Send it in" as soon as possible!