Sunday, September 07, 2003

Stevie Leiter's Head's Up!

---How is everyone? Me, fabulous, of course. So is Mr. Tickles – he’s happier than a clam!

Holy moly, I’m totally excited for a new column! Old Man Stilley only lets me write to my people like twice a year or something.

What a year for local celebrities. That Jenna girl from Pitt won Survivor and her own Playboy shoot. I don’t get the appeal…

Mario Lemieux is so f*$king the Penguins, if you ask me, but he still so cute.

Can you believe it’s already time to watch football? Stevie can’t. Three days a week of tight pants and sweaty men… hold on, I’m getting a bit too excited!.

Have you tried Old German Beer? “The world knows no finer” they say. Ask Patsy for the best.

That bathroom in Denny’s is just falling apart. What’s with bathrooms in Oakland? Don’t even start about the O, because we all know that one. But like, Bootleggers has maybe the best men's room around and it still isn’t all that good. What does a man have to do to take a decent shit in this neighborhood?

Speaking of shit in this neighborhood, I swear I saw Kordell last week in Schenley Park, fruit-loop section. No kidding.

I also saw Dennis Miller ranting to some homeless guy down town. That guy’s act never stops! He went to Stevie’s almost alma mater – Point Park College. But I transferred to Pitt my junior year, so it doesn’t count.

Did you know that crazy jew Jeff Goldblum is from Homestead? I bet he’d hate the Waterfront.

Oh, I totally saw John McIntyre at Donzi’s last week. If I had him and Jimmy Krenn in a room with me, I’d never stop laughing. Unless you threw in Peggy Finnegan. Then I would.

Oh, looks like I’m out of space. Shoot! Well, just keep socializing and looking for local hotties. But you don’t always have to keep your heads up!

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