With students leaving South Oakland in droves, finding a parking spot has never been so easy. And with more parking available, more people are taking advantage of the nightlife in the area.“We’re excited about hanging out with our old friends,” said Mindy Proleux, a recent Pitt alumnae.
Proleux said that her travel plans don’t usually take her to Oakland as she hates to hunt a half hour to find a suitable parking space.
The rise in parking has brought steady sales to businesses, which usually slump when most of the neighborhood population has left for the summer break. Bar owners are capitalizing by offering creative “Ladies Night” drink specials for women.
The increase in the female population has excited the men in the area.
“More hot chicks for us! Take that, Shadyside!” exclaimed James Knox. “All of a sudden, it’s titties as far as the eye can see. I’m glad I didn’t go home this summer with the crop of poon in South Oakland.”
Knox and his friends have been showing up at Denny’s “Ladies Drink Free Until Someone Pukes” special seeking available women, who tend to show up in packs, reminding his friend Chris Kahn of a “slutty freshman party train.”
“Let’s just put it this way: if a girl had a nice enough ass, I would remove the folding chair from my special privileged spot in front of my house just for a chance to chat.”
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