Thursday, March 06, 2003

Stevie Leiter's Head's Up!

Hi, how is everybody? Me, I’'m fabulous!

So, I'’m sure you’re wondering what is going on in Stevie's life these days. Well, let me just tell you.

First of all, I've been nothing but a big’ole poop ever since Pitt lost to West Virginia. Nothing makes me sadder than watching grown men cry. Then, there’s the Steelers losing in the playoffs. Poor boys. Stevie’ll take care of you.

Second, I've been very cold and lonely. All this ice and snow makes it so hard to find good company to just relax with. You know what I mean? I've been just too blah to even want to go to the Holiday, let alone anywhere else.

Speaking of holidays, I hope you had a great Valentine’s Day. You know, despite all of my complaining, I really had a great V-D. Ooops, just kidding. I've been V.D. free for over a year now!

Did you see that fat girl fall off the stage on American Idol? It was traumatic, yet funny.

I can't wait for St. Patrick's Day to come! Green boys, dressed in green, drinking green beer... Who wants one of Stevie's famous car bombs? It will just explode inside of you!

I totally saw Sophie Masloff at the Benedum last weekend. Yoi!

Does anyone know where I can get a good price for this old end table? The doily marks will come off with some sandpaper. Don’t worry.

Any gossip, Stevie? OK, but you didn’t hear this from me: During the off-season, Brian Giles has been catching balls in more places than his hands, let me tell you. Oh, I’m so bad.

Mr. Jerome Bettis is a sweet man, but that Amos Zereoue can run 100 yards a week for me any day. And I'm afraid it’s time Coach Cowher figured that out (sorry Jerome).

I almost forgot: Brandin Knight. Good bye, seniors. You may be a small point guard, but you're the biggest black man I've never met.

Okay, this is one silly goose who's off to watch some South Park. Bye bye!

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