Point / Weaker Point: Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!!

I Ain't Never Leaving
By Ted Hart, Meyran Ave., CAS junior

Some people think Paris is the best city in the world. Others argue New York City, London, or Rio de Janeiro, but for my money (which literally isn’t worth a whole hell of a lot) I think South Oakland is the greatest city in the world. And I do realize South Oakland is a neighborhood and not a city, but still, allow me to explain myself.

I believe South Oakland is the greatest city in the world because it is real. The people, the venues, the culture. It’s honest. There’s no “scene” here. If you want to go out and grab a beer, you have any number of watering holes where you can have a drink and a decent conversation with a bartender or a patron. And it’s not one of those things where you have to wear a certain type of clothing, look a certain way, or act a certain way. South Oakland accepts you whether you’re young, old, black, white, Republican, Democrat, yinzer, out-of-towner, intellect, or party animal.

I also love South Oakland for the businesses. They’re local and they’re independent. You can get your car repaired, a haircut, or a case of beer all from different generations of the same family. And where else can you eat out and get as many ethnic dishes all on one street? Not only are the business owners independent, but they’re friendly. You can have a real connection with someone who has legitimate Pittsburgh roots.

This place is the greatest, I ain’t never leaving.

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I'm Leaving Tomorrow
Tom Brunswick, Atwood St., CAS senior

You know, when I first moved onto Atwood Street, I was so excited. I loved the action, the parties, and the girls. I thought this place was heaven on Earth. But you know what, it’s funny how quickly heaven becomes hell when you finally awake out of the alcoholic stupor you’ve been living in for two years.

This place is a shit hole. It smells, people literally throw their trash, not away, but everywhere. Though I must compliment South Oaklanders on their great recycling policy; by smashing your empty beer bottles and cans on the street it creates a great outer layer of protection to keep the sidewalks free of damaging acid rain.

But not only does it smell, it’s expensive. Where else in Pittsburgh do you pay top dollar for a house which has carpeting and décor straight out of the Truman era? But I must admit, the parking more than makes up for the high rent prices. I love circling the block twenty times a night for the privilege of finding a parking spot which is a 12 minute walk from my house.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. I can’t wait until I move somewhere where the poo doesn’t float to the top of my toilet even after I flush, where my landlord will actually fix something when it breaks, and where I don’t have to worry about greeting the vagrant who decides my stoop is the perfect place to take a nap at 7:30 in the morning. I think it’s safe to say I can find that anywhere but here.