Sunday, September 07, 2003

Security Deposit Lost First Week In House

It was reported that the residents of 369 1/2 McKee Place have lost their security deposit no more than one week after moving into their new house. After moving in on August 22, the roommates decided to throw a “Welcome Back To School” Party. The party was estimated at 85 attendees who drank a record-high three kegs of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

“Dude, the party was awesome! There were people everywhere and the cops stopped by like three times. I got so trashed. It was great!” reported partygoer David Meyers.

Roommate Josh Mason could not recall many of the events of the previous evening. “I was so drunk. I can’t remember how the door got broken in half. All I know is that my foot really hurts.”

Roommate Kevin Darnell, however, did witness the destruction of the kitchen wall. “While we were trying to get the second keg into the kitchen, Ron dropped his end which made the other guy drop his end. It rolled to the wall and put a little dent in it. It wasn’t too bad but then Josh, the fucking idiot, thought it would be cool to make it bigger and proceeded to kick the wall until an enormous hole was there. This guy Pete tried to stop him but Josh ended up throwing him into the refrigerator and dented the front of that. It was insane, brah.”

Apart from the kitchen wall and door, a table, a third floor window, and a shelving unit were all destroyed in the unruliness.
Darnell received the phone call from the landlord the next day making them aware that all the repairs were coming out of their security deposit, which Darnell mentioned “totally sucked.”

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