Pitt To Erect Plaque Honoring Survivor's Tits

University of Pittsburgh officials announced last week that a plaque honoring Pitt student, and recent Survivor winner, Jenna Morasca’s breasts will be erected outside the William Pitt Union. The plaque, which is set to be unveiled sometime in early spring, will be placed on the Forbes Avenue side of the union. It will stand next to a similar plaque honoring Pitt alum Gene Kelly and his breastless contributions to the entertainment industry.

“We’ve been debating putting a new plaque up beside Gene Kelly’s for years,” explained University spokesman Robert Hill. “There have been numerous candidates mentioned for the honor, including Dan Marino and the 2001 Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Chabon.”

Then why the decision to honor Morasca’s breasts?

“In a recent analysis of our student body, it was found that around 96% of the women currently enrolled at Pitt either have a life’s goal of ‘being on TV,’ or ‘posing in Playboy,’” Hill began. “And 76% have a goal to do both! We felt that Miss Morasca exemplified all the qualities and achievements that today’s Pitt woman wishes to have.”

“We couldn’t think of a more symbolic way to highlight the exposure of reality TV and a Playboy pictorial better than a plaque honoring a Survivor’s sweet, sweet titties.”