Monday, October 08, 2001

Ask a Boxed Wine Connoisseur

By Brian Dupris,
Boxed Wine Connoisseur

Dear Brian,

I recently began dating a sophomore girl who lives in Tower C. It's cool because she has her own room, but it's almost impossible to sneak liquor or beer in. I want to cook her a nice Swanson Hungry-Man microwavable meal, but what should I provide for liquid refreshment? I need to tap that honey soon, dude.

Signed, Fidgety in Forbes

Fidgety in Forbes,

How many times have you gone into the liquor store to buy a nice pinot-noir or perhaps a sparkling-white blanche so that you might impress your guests with your knowledge of fine wines? How often have you mistakenly bought Wild Irish Rose or King Solomon, thinking, "Wow, $5 for two whole gallons of wine!"? Or maybe you picked up a bottle of some "French" wine or another that cost you almost $30? Brian Dupris is here to tell you what you're doing wrong. "'Dupris', is that French?" you ask. Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. My great-grandfather was a wine-maker in Provence, France, and when he came to America, he began brewing his own grape delight in the sunny valleys of California. My grandfather followed in his footsteps, but during the Great Depression, he lost the business. However, the love of wine flows through my blood and the knowledge and experience of generations of wine-makers has reached it pinnacle with me. I am called Connoisseur. My answer: boxed wine. You have quite a selection out there, it's cheap, tastes better than bottled wine, and you can put it in your book-bag so it feels like a book!

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