In the likely event of a South Oakland Sharknado, where is the safest place to hide?

Let's face it. A Sharknado could happen at any moment. When the big one hits South Oakland, we all better be prepared. So we asked some of Twitter's foremost Sharknado experts to weigh in on what location would provide the best place to hide... And hopefully survive. Here is that potentially life-saving information.

@Souf_Oaklin the freezer in Mellingers. Fortified by thick walls and beer!
— Michael Nakon (@michael_nakon) July 31, 2014

@michael_nakon @Souf_Oaklin and...... you can get shitfaced in the meantime
— #FreePalestine (@HaRight) July 31, 2014

@HaRight @Souf_Oaklin that's the plan! I'd say Gdoor but I couldn't take seeing that place destroyed by sharks
— Michael Nakon (@michael_nakon) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Antoons, feed the sharks antoons and they'll be happy, and possibly drunk
— Matt Zora (@matt_zora) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Taiwan Cafe behind the curtain
— Brian Batko (@BrianBatko) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin just stand in the middle of Atwood with your chainsaw
— troy bishop (@troy_bishop) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Larry and Carol's. Coked up enough and I wouldn't give a shit
— Justin Fleischmann (@JFleisch13) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Aaron Donald's apartment.
— Hans (@letourdehans) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Todd Grahams porch
— Mark Purpura (@PittDuke) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Ophelia. No one will know you're there.
— ⚓️ (@GoetzUm) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin meyran, the knocked over garbage cans, stumbling residents, and poorly parked cars make it a gauntlet.
— Nick (@Nick_mass_) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Pub IG. It's underground AND they don't discriminate against underage drinkers.
— Buster (@JaredGeosits) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin The men's room at The "O". Even a shark isn't brave enough to "go" in there.
— David Speier (@Waxmbordz) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin anywhere but tower c. Those freaks would be the first to go!
— Tim Frazier (@what_tim_said) July 31, 2014

@Souf_Oaklin Dan Marino Field. The broken glass and needles form a great defense, and there's probably a weapon stash somewhere down there
— Danny Giraud (@DBoy44) July 31, 2014

And, finally... here is what could be the smartest recommendation:

@Souf_Oaklin trick question. You should hide in mythical west oakland. Even a sharknado wouldn't be able to find that place.
— Matthew O (@SaxMan4L) July 31, 2014

Stay smart. Stay alive. Thanks for reading, and please click here to follow Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!! on Twitter @souf_oaklin.