Point / Weaker Point: Responsibility

My Son Is So Responsible
By Evelyn Mathers

I am so proud of my little Billy. He’s a junior now at Pitt, majoring in Engineering. Ever since he was little, he loved to play with his erector sets and create structures, building them higher and higher each time. His grandparents gave him a chemistry set when he was young and he would spend hours concocting new potions and showing us his experiments.

Billy’s father and I are amazed at his accomplishments. He’s always been responsible by budgeting and saving money for his future. He has a work-study job and pays his own bills, but his father and I decided recently to help him out with the rent. I know how tough it is to be a full-time student and make ends meet. I don’t want him to have to worry about balancing too many jobs and school just to keep his head above water. His studies are the most important thing right now. My little Billy is going to have a successful, high-profile career in Chemical Engineering and nothing's going to stop him.

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Dude, Check Out This New Three-Foot Bong I Bought
By William Mathers, Jr.

So, dude, check this out! Ain’t it sweet? I just got it this week…man, I can’t tell you how awesome it hits. My job’s been sucking lately and they’ve been making me work more hours. And I’ve been spending all my time at Jody’s house because they’ve always got weed there.

I guess I kind of have been neglecting my school shit. I might fail two of my classes, but that’s all right cause I’m having a good time. Now’s the time, right? Fuck school anyway. I’ll be able to find a job when I get out.

I’ve been working so much that I needed a release. I can’t have all my money go to bills. So I told my mom that rent was like $400 and she believed me! I spent all my cash from working those long hours just to get this righteous bong. Now I don’t have to worry about my schedule because this bong kicks so much ass that I don’t even want to leave the house – good thing Mom and Dad are picking up the tab!