Monday, October 08, 2001

Local Pet Owners Really Love Their Pets

Pitt student Melanie Ross did what a lot of students do when they move into their own apartment for the first time she bought a kitten. "I just love Ms. Puffles, she's sooo cute!" said Ross, referring to her puffy, white, cute new kitty.

Ms. Puffles, like so many South Oakland pets, spends most of her day running around the apartment, scratching up furniture, and chewing on various electrical wires. While many veterinarians suggest that new kittens receive a lot of attention and supervision, not to mention a good home, many students believe that their fast-paced lives and often squalid living situations are conducive to pet ownership.

“Irresponsible students buy these damn pets, and they keep them all cooped up in the house all day, not getting any attention. Not to mention food or water. Then they bring me these flea-infested, dirty kittens or puppies, or even ferrets, right, and they can't even pay me for the goddam check-up!” explained Dr. Roger Filmore, D.V.M., chief veterinarian at Schenley Park Animal Hospital.

“Isn't Ms. Puffles just soooo cute?” asked Ross, pointing to a wet, garbage-covered Ms. Puffles rolling around in a pile of old pizza boxes and nearly-empty beer bottles. “See--she just loves beer, too! You should see her when we break out the bong! She just lies around and gets stoned as hell.”

Dr. Filmore has seen more than his share of abused pets. “You get these hippies living here who just feed their cat scraps of pizza or blow marijuana smoke in their dogs' faces all day, too. I don't know what's worse, leaving a pet at home alone for eight hours, or getting it stoned as shit all day instead. Then there's the frat boys who think it's funny to feed their new pit-bull a steady diet of Colt 45. Morons!”

If you’re a student and want to get a pet, Dr. Filmore advises that you “wait until you’re goddam out of college, you imbecile.”

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