Sunday, July 06, 2008

"Kamikaze Kid" Gives Up Final Season of Eligibility to Open T-Shirt Stand

This article originally appeared in the April 1977 edition of "Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!!" -

In an emotional press conference held this morning at Pitt Stadium, Panther fan-favorite Charles "Kamikaze Kid" Bonasorte announced his decision to leave the program early, forgoing his final year of athletic eligibility. Next stop: outside vendor. Pitt Stop Outside Vendor, that is!

Bonasorte is a member of the reigning college football champion Pittsburgh Panthers. His teammate, Tony Dorsett won the Heisman Trophy last year and is expected to be selected first overall on May 3rd's NFL entry draft. Other Panthers hoping to be drafted include linebacker Al Romano and tight end Jim Corbett.

Experts were looking to Bonasorte to challenge for a starting position in the defensive backfield in the 1977 season. However, the allure of becoming a mobile, on-campus, tchotchke merchant was too great for the gridster.

“I just want to thank the coaches, my teammates, and the university for all the support they've given me the last 3 years," Bonasorte tearfully began. "But it's always been my dream to sell the Pitt logo on competitively priced, super-durable, heavy-duty, cotton T's. And this is an opportunity my family and I can't pass up."

A natural entrepreneur, Bonasorte opened his first lemonade stand in 1st grade and later managed the “Student Store” through the his years in junior and senior high school. It is there that friends and family say he developed his love for selling high-quality, logoed apparel and souvenirs.

Friends and family report Bonasorte has been agonizing over the decision since the end of the Panther's championship-winning season.

"Every student has the right to support the Panthers by purchasing an inexpensive shirt of passable quality," Bonasorte added, "or at least to let others know the answer to the question, “What did the Penn State grad say to the Pitt grad? Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order please!'"

And for long term plans?

"I'd like to develop some sort of nickname for Pitt basketball fans. Like the 'Oakland Kennel' or the 'Oakland Game Reserve,' or the 'Oakland Menagerie,' but I'm just not there. I just need to figure it out before some other student does."

1 comment:

Matt DiMarco said...

We probably could have won another championship if he would have stuck it out for another year. Well, I guess if he played another year I would have ended up paying 25% more for my sweatshirt than I did.